I know this one is again not the shortest email but you know what? This one and the one from last week combined will change your life if you are a leader in some shape or form!
You’re a mum? Great, you are a leader!
Business owner? Yep, you’re a leader…
Employee? Yep, you’re a leader…
Want to motivate yourself or someone else?
So, read on then.
Why is understanding this important anyway?
I suppose at some stage in your life you will want to motivate yourself or someone else to do something. Understanding how motivation works, will go a long way towards achieving that…
Imagine you have an “away from” and a “towards” person on your team… One gets really motivated by avoiding negative consequences. The other gets super motivated by working towards something awesome. You might just need to motivate them very differently.
The promise of a big bonus for meeting their KPIs and goals will totally work for one of them but not at all for the other…
Imagine you’re a coach of a sporting team. One athlete plays to win the championship, the other one plays to make sure you don’t lose…
One person wants to be fit and healthy so they can do what they want to do. Another person doesn’t want to get sick from being overweight.
Let me introduce you to my imaginary colleagues Nancy and Poppie
Negative Nancy and positive Poppy are having a conversation in the lunch room:
Unfortunately all the other positive Poppies had an early lunch and Poppie is stuck with Nancy.
Poppy tells Nancy about this super exciting course she is doing! It will help her become more confident and build a little business on the side. She is hoping that it might make her some extra dollars so they can pay off the house faster and go on an overseas holiday. She is so excited about the future she is starting to build now…
A very confused negative Nancy is trying to make sense of what she just heard. Remember Nancy sorts all incoming data by “getting away from negative”. The only thing Nancy can say is: “I didn’t think your life was that horrible…? What do you hate about it…?”
Now it’s Poppies turn to be utterly confused…: “No, it’s not horrible at all, I love my life AND I want to make these changes and create an even better futures…”
And Nancy just doesn’t get it. “What do you want to do that for…?” (And no Nancy repeating the same words will not help Nancy understand…) Nancy wonders why on earth anyone would put that much effort into something that is not going to help them get away from
something dreadful or painful…
Yep, Nancy and Poppie live on different planets and they speak a different language.
Imagine how Nancy would have reacted if Poppy had said: “I am doing this course cause which is a lot of work. But I’m anxious all the time and maybe it will help me stop this horrible anxiety. And I am terrified we could lose the house. And this course is a lot of work but maybe I can make some extra cash, so we don’t have to go any deeper into debt.”
Nancy would light up like a Christmas tree. Cause she’d totally get that!
So what about a default “towards the positive” software program
Okay as an overall approach to a happy and productive life a default “towards the positive” software program tends to work better.
(Remember there are certain contexts in which “away from” is useful, you could also call it common sense)
When I work with people and for the first time in their lives they decide to check out an “Towards the positive "approach… Wow, it has such profoundly positive and life affirming effects.
When you are setting goals and need direction in life, then a “towards” is the most appropriate choice. Your mind can not think in “don’t”. It can only process information that is stated in the positive. When you are sorting all the data for what you do want, then you have enabled the freedom to fully imagine it, set direction for it, follow through, achieve it, and experience its rewards…
The downside of overusing the “Towards the positive” software program
Is usually that people use it in inappropriate contexts. Then people make decisions that can seem a bit naïve or risky because they have not thought about any possible pitfalls or obstacles that could stop them from reaching their goal.
Sometimes a little bit of risk assessment can be useful. Too much “she’ll be right” can have it’s downside too…
And no, “towards the positive” is not at all simplistic “just think positive” or “use your positive affirmations”. (No, I will not get on that soap box this time… lol)
Each of the software programs are useful in a given context. And as I always say: My job is to help people have more choices in life.
Negative Nancy mainly runs one software program and as such she simply doesn’t have a choice.
And to me, having a choice is always better than “no choice”.
The ability to chose and intentionally run the software program most appropriate to the context is super powerful.
Also the ability to chose your language wisely, depending on what program a person is running may well change your life.
Today I am grateful for watermelon!
Seriously how good is cold watermelon on a hot day?? Even the puppies love it!
Take the next step and book your session with DHP. Lazzaro Pisu in Vancouver, today, Call 604 202 7938.
Lazzaro is dedicated to help your mental health. Contact him today.
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